From Michele: Oftentimes we are our own worst enemies. We get scared, we doubt ourselves, and we wonder if we could rather than just putting two feet in and doing it. This was the case for Breanna growing up. She was scared of challenging herself and discovering her full potential. And while it continued for some time, she reframed her thoughts and is now on the pathway to becoming the doctor she wanted to become.
Read her story below!
For so much of my life, I’ve been scared. Scared of change. Scared of challenging myself. Scared of discovering my full potential.
As child, I was the quiet one. I found my corner, read my books, and played pretend with my 2-3 close friends on the playground. This didn’t improve much with age, unfortunately. Even in high school, I found myself sitting at a table with people I never spoke to and feeling miserable in classes where I had no friends. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to connect with people, it’s that I was scared to reach out. I didn’t know what to say, and I was afraid that wouldn’t like me. Upon reflection, the strongest relationships that I had over the course of my elementary and high school education was my family.
As the oldest sibling of 6 kids, my family was my entire world, and leading by example was an early expectation. Luckily, it wasn’t in my nature to misbehave or act out–rather, I studied hard, got good grades, and did everything I could to make my parents proud.
Although I enjoyed the responsibility, I often wonder now if that need to impress hindered me from finding my passion sooner. You see, from an early age I was always building. Dollhouses sprung up from tape and index cards. Hotels and entire towns were laid out using old cereal boxes and paper towel rolls. This skill was further enhanced when my mom bought architecture software to redesign our kitchen but I used it instead to design homes.
I never really knew what I wanted to do while growing up, but everyone always commented on my penchant for construction, and later, engineering.
So I went with it. In all honesty, I didn’t fully understand what it meant to be an engineer, but I was good at math and science, and everyone said that was important. I found that pursuing this path made my parents proud, and although I wasn’t sure if I felt a connection to the career, it was the safest option given my background and skills.
I stayed the course of construction and engineering up until my second internship in the field. Along the way, my self confidence had taken a trip through mountains and valleys as I forged new friendships that I promptly lost or faced academic challenges I never had before. I knew I was unhappy, but I didn’t know what to do about it–what needed to change.
During that internship, along in a new city with minimal peers to hand out with, I spent a lot of time on self-reflection. The ‘real world’ of engineering was revealing itself as a land of management, numbers, and safety–with only one segment of that even slightly capturing my attention. Safety was where I felt like I made the most value because I was directly impacting the lives of contractors and engineers around me–but it wasn’t enough. I couldn’t see how what I or my coworkers were doing would ever truly inspire me within the confines of engineering.
It was during my second internship that I finally had the courage to change.
I began exploring other career opportunities, but instead of retreating to the safety of the ‘known’ when I became unsure of myself, I did more research and sought answers to my questions from advisors and others currently in those fields. By pushing myself towards the unknown, I discovered that medicine was my true calling–a way for me to make a difference in the lives of others and see the effects of my efforts first-hand.
From that point forward, my life has been a series of intentional changes.
– Increasing my course-load in order to still graduate in 4 years
– Taking a two year gap from school to take the MCAT and apply to medical school
– Working in a tech/entrepreneurship program to expand my skills outside of medicine rather than working as a scribe. Probably my most unique decision yet has been starting my Instagram and YouTube accounts. I am not an outgoing person, which is why I knew I needed to start sharing my story. I wanted to overcome my social anxiety and self-consciousness while helping others who are going through what I went through
Is my shyness and self-consciousness gone because I’ve started these public displays of knowledge?
No; on the contrary I’ve been made more aware of my weakness in this area. That being said, I’m no longer afraid. I’m not afraid of putting myself out there, of sharing what I know and and helping others through fun pictures, captions, and videos. Finally stepping outside of the engineering bubble I had trapped myself in showed me just how much I had to offer. My opinions and thoughts are valued by others because I had the courage to pursue the unknown and share my experience. And starting these accounts has introduced me to other inspiring, passionate individuals all destined to achieve their dreams. I’m no longer as scared of change as I once was. Each day I choose experiences that I hope will challenge me and help me grow. I’m excited for taking on medical school, a masters in health administration, my social media, and more because these are all things that will help me grow into the passionate, knowledgeable doctor I know I can be.
Breanna