From Michele: They say that people walk into your life for a reason, and I’d always like to think so. I “met” Kendall while creating Not a Standard. Like my brother, she was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes, and to see that on her profile page in itself was inspirational. Oftentimes, those with Type 1 Diabetes don’t feel comfortable enough sharing it, leading to many complications. This is actually the exact reason why my brother was hospitalized in the past…the stigma.
So let Kendall share her story and certain situations that she has dealt with. Like many struggles, including my own, there were and are many obstacles in her way. If you read all the way to the bottom, you will see that Kendall is so much more than a blogger, a diabetic, or anything else… she’s definitely a “Not a Standard” kind of gal.
Being Diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes
As a sophomore in high school, I was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes. My first diagnosis came from a heavy search on Google and WebMD to understand what was going on with my body.
I was losing weight, but eating everything in sight.
I was constantly thirsty despite how much water I drank.
I had to go to the bathroom every 5 minutes.
Deep down inside, I knew something was wrong, so I went to Google. Everything pointed me to Type 1 Diabetes (T1D) and I told my parents. They laughed and didn’t think much of it given that we don’t have a family history of it, but I asked to get a blood test to rule it out.
Two weeks later, I was being told I had to go stay in the hospital for 3 days to learn about my new diagnosis.
Case In Point: Sometimes, you have to go with your gut when you think something is wrong. Only you know your body.
The Truth of Diabetes
Diabetes isn’t easy and I honestly wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. Getting diagnosed in high school was especially difficult.
Because I had grown up eating what I wanted, when I wanted and not counting the carbs in it, it was hard having to give myself a shot to cover my meal. I never had to test my sugar before a meal – didn’t even know what correcting meant. I’m even afraid of needles. Needless to say, I was terrified when I came home and my parents told me that I was right; that I was now a diabetic.
After Being Diagnosed
After a 3-day crash course in the hospital, I got to go home and adjust to my new life. News flash: 3 days is not long enough to understand what you are about to endure!
Everyone claims that diabetes is a science, but I think that’s indisputably false.
Everything affects everything differently. I could eat a bagel at 8 AM cover it completely and be fine in 2 hours, with a normal blood sugar. If I ate the same bagel at 2 PM, covered the carbs and tested in 2-3 hours, my blood sugar could be through the roof.
It’s volatile.
It’s dependent on tons of factors…
I’m anxious, my blood sugar rises.
I’m stressed at work, blood sugar rises.
The list could go on.
It’s not easy and I’m not going to pretend it is because that doesn’t help anyone.
Adjusting was hard, but you kind of just have to do it because the alternative – literally, dying because your body physically needs insulin to live – wasn’t really an option. Thankfully, the needles are small. But, sometimes they still hurt and I’ve been doing shots for almost 10 years.
Complications
I got through the rest of high school, but I was hospitalized twice for Diabetic Ketoacidosis (DKA). DKA is probably the worst thing that can happen to a diabetic. Your sugar is just so high you can’t do anything to get it back down.
Now, these two times were 100% my fault. I stopped taking care of myself. I was skipping insulin. To be honest, I was preoccupied. At the time, I was dating someone who had been diagnosed with Crohn’s Disease a month before and he was struggling to accept that – it was a very hard relationship and one that I don’t regret, but one that made me focus on all of the wrong things. It led me to lose sight of myself and stop catering to my own needs (and actual needs because you can’t live without insulin). So yes, as a diabetic, you need to be selfish and focus on yourself, a lot.
Effects on Weight
Long story short there, we broke up and I started to take care of myself again. I had prom to look forward to and college applications. I found a beautiful dress for prom, fit into a size 6 and was so happy because with insulin, you can gain weight. Especially in the beginning when you’re trying to figure out what ratios work for you and how much insulin you actually need. I started gaining some weight back and went from being 5’2 and 105lbs to around 130. It was hard and I was upset a lot. But the worst had to be when I was a week out from prom and my dress didn’t fit. I had worked out 1.5 hours a day for months at the Y and didn’t lose a single pound. I had to get my dress taken out days before the prom and I honestly don’t think I’d ever hated myself more. Even more so, I hated diabetes and wished I could just go back to the way things were.
They don’t tell you that sometimes your legs will swell and your weight will fluctuate depending on the amount of insulin you put in your body – it’s something you just kind of learn by trial and error.
College With Diabetes
After an eventually successful prom and an acceptance into Boston University, I was ready to take on college.
Navigating college and diabetes was not easy. You’re drinking at parties with people who don’t know you and wouldn’t know how to help you. You’re eating at random times. You’re not eating well when you are eating or snacking way more than usual. Your sleep schedule is off. Routine isn’t really a thing anymore – every day is different. That was hard for me to get used to.
I had a very tough time my first year at BU – to the point I almost transferred schools and I even considered taking a semester off.
Staying In College Despite Struggling
I decided to stay and I started at a Diabetes center with a great doctor – but in all 4 years we never were able to get my sugars down to a normal level. He was very nice, but he wasn’t the doctor I needed. That’s another important thing: your doctor. You have to see this doctor at least 3-4 times a year, so you need to find someone that you like, or if anything, someone who will just be honest with you.
My first doctor was horrible and treated me like any other patient. She wasn’t catering to my specific case; she was just generalizing. The second doctor was so nice, but he wasn’t pushy enough to make a case for what he was saying, which just didn’t resonate with me and I didn’t really take him seriously. My current doctor and I didn’t start out in the best way, but I have a great respect for him and the fact that he’s blunt with me. I’m a very blunt, no bullsh** kind of girl and I need someone to do that for me in return or else I’ll just tune you out. Find a doctor that wants you to be better, to do better and to always feel better – based on your numbers, your symptoms and even your personality.
Life With Diabetes
I ended up joining a sorority and two of my sisters were diabetics too. It was kind of crazy how that happened. One of the girls joined a year after me and was very open about being diabetic. The other girl, I actually didn’t know until a year or so after I met her. I’d never seen her do a shot or test her blood. I couldn’t believe she was diabetic. Personally, I find that I’m somewhere in the middle. I’m happy to talk about it or answer someone’s questions, but I also don’t tell everyone I meet or make it a point in conversation.
I think every diabetic is different in terms of how publicly they want to make their disease. I remember at first, I wouldn’t test my sugar on first dates. I wouldn’t bring my kit to the bar. I’d skip a shot if I were out to dinner sometimes and just wanted to eat like everyone else and not have a care. Wouldn’t that be nice? To remember what it’s like to eat and not have to think about it. No one was asking why I wasn’t doing shots or testing my sugar – there is no one to hold you accountable but yourself.
I think that’s a big part of diabetes – holding you accountable. This is your disease and you have to take care of it on your own. Of course, you can have a support system. However, I’ve found that no one truly understands or can grasp all of the concepts, rules, ratios, etc. that come with our daily life with diabetes unless that person actually has the disease themselves. I’ve found that having friends who are diabetic too has helped me a lot, even if it is just to complain to one another.
Graduating and Life After College
To get to the end of my story, I graduated from Boston University with a 3.7 GPA and a Bachelor’s Degree in Communications and Public Relations, a minor in Psychology. Within a few months I had my first job. Within a year, I had my second real world job. I commute everyday from New Jersey to New York. I moved out over the summer into an apartment with one of my best friends. I have a loving + supporting boyfriend, along with incredibly supportive and caring family and friends. But even with all of that, every single day is different. Every single day is a new challenge and a dive into the unknown.
Some days are a struggle. Some days my blood sugar is perfect all day long, never going over 130. Some days, I can’t get it to go down. Sometimes I want to do nothing at all. Some days I want to eat whatever I want and not take an insulin shot – which I immediately regret when I’m crying I have a migraine and my blood sugar is 500.
Talking about Good and Bad Days
The point is, we all have our good days and our bad days. Our bad days are just a little bit harder because we can’t lie in bed all day doing nothing – we still have to monitor every little thing. When we get sick, it’s scary because a high is bad and a low is hard to fix if you can’t eat or drink. If you’re throwing up for over a day, you’re going to have to probably go to the ER. If you’re dehydrated for too long you risk DKA. There’s SO MANY FACTORS and most people do not realize that.
Life Right Now With Diabetes
In an average day, I check my sugar 4-6 times. I take 2 mandatory long acting shots (AM/PM) and a shot every time I eat or drink something with more than 5-8 grams of carb. I make sure my blood sugar is high enough to work out when I get home from my 9-5 job. I meal prep and count carbs. I wake up in the middle of the night drenched in sweat and stumbling to the fridge to eat something – let’s be real, everything – when my sugar drops to 56. I can’t go out without bringing some kind of bag to fit all my supplies in. Traveling abroad is scary (but so worth it) because insulin is expensive and not easy to come by in a foreign country. I pay for the highest insurance plan because doctor visits are not a choice but a mandate as are monthly prescriptions. I deal with morons at insurance companies. I listen to people make jokes about diabetes. I listen to people make ignorant comments about diabetes or ask me if I can actually eat something. All in all, I manage. I have to. Am I always successful? Absolutely not, but I try. You’re never going to be perfect in you diabetes and for someone like me who can be a perfectionist, that’s a tough pill to swallow. But, it’s okay to not be perfect and it’s okay to have bad days.
Last Thoughts on Having Diabetes:
Like I said earlier, I wouldn’t wish diabetes on anyone. It’s not easy and it’s not a science. But I will say it makes you a stronger, smarter, more cautious and more conscious person. It makes you think before you act; consider your options before you make a decision. But it doesn’t need to define you. It doesn’t need to be all that you are. Diabetes is not me. I am not diabetes. I have diabetes, but you wouldn’t know it by looking at me. I’m just an average 25-year-old girl going through the same struggles as everyone else – with a few additional steps along the way.
My story isn’t different and it’s not all that unique. But, it’s realistic, honest and it’s mine.
Kendall
She got upgraded to front row Billy Joel by some crazy change and touched his hand!
She studied abroad in London and interned with Gap!!!!
She horseback rode for 15 years
Tom Colicchio from TopChef cooked at her house when she was in middle school!
-I am an Ecommerce merchandiser for two fashion websites and just stared a blog 🙂
If you were recently diagnosed, here are some sources to look into: