**Trigger Warning: This article contains content that may be triggering for those who are struggling and/or recovering from an eating disorder.**
From Michele:
A while back I wrote on Instagram that , If you didn’t make the mistakes you’ve made, you would have been likely to make other ones. And I had to share again.
Why?
Because at some point or another we struggle, we screw up, and yet… you know what, it doesn’t matter. What matters most is the getting up part. And that’s what this story shows.
Meet Stacie more than an eating disorder soldier or an entrepreneur, an amazing individual who fell down several times only to pick herself up and fight the battle. Read her story, be inspired, connect with her, educate yourself a bit more. And when you are ready, feel free to share your story.
Everything happened so quickly I was unsure how my life spiraled out of control by the end of my first year in college. I ate my emotions and then purged them back up. I was bulimic at the age of 19. I went from a girl who was 175 pounds, 5’8” down to my thinnest at 120. I was aware that what I was doing was not healthy nor good for my body. I used food as a way to comfort myself and figured I wasn’t going to keep it in my body so I’ll eat a whole carton of ice cream, why not?
That was the start and lasted for years.
Of course wounds heal but I was less than impressed when I gained 5 pounds back. At 125 I had to figure out how to use the drawstring in my Nike running shorts because I never needed it before. I became obsessed with the number on the scale. I would purge when there was only water in my system so I could fit into my size 00 skirt.
Mentally and physically I was tortured.
I had some self awareness when a friend of mine said, “Hey the whites in your eyes aren’t red today!” Ummmm, what? My exact reaction to her statement. I had some self awareness when I understood clearly what she meant after she repeated it again. The excessive force had busted blood vessels in the white part of my eyes, they now were all 3 colors of the American flag. Red, white, and blue. I was sick with a cold for a full week and she came to check up on me in my dorm after I missed 3 days of classes. Didn’t eat much those days so no wonder she noticed. I probably looked less sick to her while actually being sick with a nasty virus.
Embarrassed and mortified I knew there needed to be an end to this.
It took time, hard work on my part, and dedication to a strict diet that I could make a lifestyle. That is what all this blog, my social media, my job, what I stand for represents.
Balance.
A lifestyle, not a temporary fix for a weight program gaining or losing.
I put my body, the only one I will ever have, through a lot. It was a struggle but I only battled myself. I was an addict.
I didn’t know how to stop.
It took a long time and discipline to own up to my own truth. The past 4 years have really been the most educational rewriting my own rules regarding health. The importance of nutrition, the importance of exercise, the importance of mental stability. I have accomplished a healthy balance between eating colorful healthy food and indulging appropriately.
One thing I never gave up during this healing process is brownies. That is how SugarFace Bakes came alive. Now, I have brownie baking kits soon to launch so everyone can indulge the same way I do…victoriously and balanced!