From Michele: On my personal instagram (which isn’t so personal) I shared something you may not have known about me… I get anxious about flying. It’s kind of embarrassing and yet at the same time, it’s my reality. And that’s just it, all of us at some point in another have dealt with some kind of anxiety. While everyone has a different experience of it, it’s important to talk about more. And that’s why today I’m sharing Naimah’s story of what having an anxiety disorder feels like for her.
Feel free to connect with her and/or share your story too.
P.S. Did you know that…
“Anxiety disorders are the most common mental illness in the U.S., affecting 40 million adults in the United States age 18 and older, or 18.1% of the population every year. Anxiety disorders are highly treatable, yet only 36.9% of those suffering receive treatment.”
Source: https://adaa.org/about-adaa/press-room/facts-statistics
When someone would point out my anxiety in a conversation, it would be a dreadful and nerve-wracking exchange. Others would say to me…
“I saw you got nervous back there giving that presentation, just calm down”
“It’s okay everyone’s nerves get the best of them”
“Everyone has anxiety at some point, you aren’t alone”
These statements made me feel uncomfortable.
It was the fact that l couldn’t quite articulate to the person sharing their concern about my nervousness, that my anxiety isn’t just selective to presentations or speaking to others, it’s an all-encompassing rollercoaster ride of feelings that won’t seem to let me get off.
A disorder or illness is something generalized by particular traits that doctors use to classify one disorder from another; but how a person reacts to it and deals with it, is a case by case dealing — and yes, maybe everyone experiences bouts of anxiety and nervousness but an Anxiety Disorder, isn’t just nervousness.
For me, it’s a feeling like the world is going to end if l don’t make it to a job interview in time, or even having crying spells before l go outside, ordering food at a restaurant, or even acknowledging the cashier in the check out line without any verbal communication but eye contact.
What may seem like “nervousness” to some may actually be something more…
Simple interactions with other people on a daily basis can actually be completely exhausting and can make the individual suffering from the disorder, feel overate. But, again, that’s how my anxiety makes me feel, and how l react to it, which is selective to how someone else reacts to theirs.
Mental Health, illness or even a disability – should never be treated as a one size fits all.
So, even when someone would acknowledge my anxiety, I’d feel boxed in. Some of my usual responses would have been:
“Oh. Yeah, that happens sometimes.”
“It’s a thing l do”
“No don’t worry, it’s just hard for me to talk to people”
Being able to understand that anxiety is how my body reacts to situations of stress, duress, pressure, and even basic communication has helped me figure out how to handle interactions in my daily life with care, and in a way that doesn’t trigger stress, or make me feel like I’m a bug under constant heat and pressure. If l were to respond to someone who points out my anxiety or triggers openly now I’d be transparent:
“Yes. I have an Anxiety Disorder; certain situations that involve a level of pressure or trigger me to become stressed, and make it hard for me to communicate, and properly articulate my feelings. Thank you for realizing that the X situation made me uncomfortable, and took the time to speak to me privately.”
That may seem long-winded for some of you.
But, it helps me to directly confront the problem and gives me time to collect my thoughts, while creating a safe space and exchange the appropriate dialogue with another person, without freaking myself or the other person out.
So, please be kind towards your anxious friends, it’s important that they feel protected and safe enough to express themselves openly while dealing with any form of mental illness. Navigating the real-world as is, is difficult enough – but navigating the real-world with something that’s already so stigmatized and inaccurately portrayed in the media, and political rhetoric can be quiet debilitating.
Be a shoulder to lean on, a helping hand, and an ear to talk to.
Connect With Her
Instagram/Blog: https://linktr.ee/drudgly
