Do you ever look on Instagram and find someone that you need to connect with? That was the case for me and Lindsay. Look on her page and all you see are smiles.
She is a beautiful person both inside and out, and while she is bald, it hasn’t stopped her. She keeps running marathons and using her story to help others. I don’t know about you, but that’s definitely someone I want in my circle.
So read her story and connect with her. She is an amazing person and I will vouch for that.
I was born with a head of beautiful red hair, but then by age two it began to all fall out. First it was in small chunks but then within a few weeks I was completely bald. After several doctor visits I was diagnosed with an autoimmune condition, called Alopecia causing total body hair loss. Since I was so young at the time I don’t remember much of my original diagnosis, but as I got older it would be the first thing I would think about every morning, my life had been forever changed.
Growing Up Without Hair
It was tough growing up without any hair and always using a wig to ‘hide’ my baldhead. I was so ashamed of having no hair. I never felt like I was pretty or worthy of love, happiness, or joy. I would look at all of the beautiful women I was surrounded by everyday at school, on television and in magazines with their beautiful heads of hair and think if only I could have hair. I was so envious of everyone around me. I felt like there was nothing beautiful about me.
I would come home from school crying all of the time, kids were so mean to me always making fun of me calling me names like ‘baldy’ or making fun of my lack of eyebrows or eyelashes. But, when they would call me a boy that really stung. I had no self-confidence and was so ashamed I never made a comeback or told anyone, because they were right..I was bald. I didn’t know anyone else who had alopecia, and felt like I was alone with no one to talk to. I was out-casted in so many ways. I wanted nothing more than to fit in and be like everyone else.
I began to really despise my Alopecia and became so angry about it.
We all have moments in life that are life changing, or that we wish we could forget, but never will. This was one of those for me, that shook me to my core. I can still vividly remember the time in gym class when a boy pulled off my hair. It was my worst nightmare come true. I can still see the faces of kids in my head. There I was exposed and vulnerable. I always wanted to hide my alopecia, and never wanted anyone to know about it, because girls were pretty when they had hair.
I thought this was the most important thing in the world.
I was very fortunate to be blessed with athletic ability. It was in my later elementary school days that I discovered the game of basketball, and little did I know this game would open so many doors for me in my future. I would race home from school everyday to shoot hoops in my driveway for hours, pretending to make the game winning shot. The crowd would chant my name and go wild. I never thought of my Alopecia, this became my escape into my perfect world where I was just like all of the other girls. All of my focus shifted to practicing, and becoming the best player I could be. I started to stand out from the crowd, but this time it was in a positive way. I still wore my wig 100% of the time, and never talked about my Alopecia, but I thought about it less because I had basketball as a distraction.
Life Continues…
I went on to have a great high school career breaking countless school records and even received a scholarship to play college basketball. I am a very competitive person by nature, and every summer Duluth, Minnesota (my college town) hosted a marathon so I thought to myself “I can run a marathon!”. I was never a runner; in fact I use to hate to run more than the length of the basketball court. I went on a few runs beforehand then laced up my sneakers race morning and took off. I will never forget this day. The whole time I kept thinking to myself ‘this is amazing! I am stronger, tough and powerful’. I had never truly felt and believed these strong emotions before.
As I crossed the finish line with a 4:17 time all I could think was I could do better! I didn’t know then, but this day would change my life in more incredible ways than I could of ever imagined.
I began to start racing all over the country, always challenging myself and wanting to become better. I loved the challenge and excitement of being in a new city and taking on a new race. The more I ran the stronger, more empowered and even beautiful I felt. There is just something so special to me about the road in the early morning when it’s just me and I have time to think and really feel so many emotions.
I began to gain this new confidence from running. I started to wear my wig less around my close friends, or just small errands, which was a big step for me. A small victory, yet huge moment began when I would come home from a run in the hot Charlotte heat and look at myself in the mirror, my bald head staring back at me. I was exposed, and vulnerable. I went years with out ever truly looking at myself in the mirror, or seeing my beautiful eyes (that I now love). I had gotten to the point where I would really see myself, not as the girl who was bald but the athlete I was, the kind heart I had, and my inner beauty.
I even said out loud ‘wow, I am kind of pretty’ and truly believe it. I started to see myself for who I really was, and what I liked about myself. This was a life changing moment, to have shifted my perspective about myself.
Through running I was able to learn so much about myself. It is hard to be a runner, it takes a lot of dedication, strength, determination and pure guts to get through all of the training, especially on days you don’t want to. But, I loved it! I looked forward to my long run every weekend and always had a next race to look forward to. Running was shaping me into this person I had always been, but just needed help getting to.
My life then changed forever on one hot May day on my 20 mile run. The whole run I kept thinking how much I’ve grown, and all that I have accomplished then suddenly I don’t know what came over me but I just ripped my wig off part way through my run with tears swelling up in my eyes. I had always dreamed of the day I could be confident to not need my wig to ‘hide’ or be a security comfort for me and today was the day! I had never felt more beautiful with my bald heading out shining for the world to see as the sun gleamed off of it. I got home from that run hung my wig up (which was so disgusting sweaty-I have no idea how I ever ran or played basketball with that thing on for all of those year!) and haven’t looked back since.
My next marathon was two weeks later in San Diego, my first race there and my first ‘bald’ marathon.
I got my best time I had ever received and even qualified for Boston! My dream come true! I had never felt so loved or celebrated as I did after that race. All of these strangers coming up and hugging and congratulating me, such an incredible feeling!
Since my first marathon my senior year of college in Duluth, Minnesota my goal had been to run 27 marathons by the time I turned 27 years old. I was able to accomplish this task 2.5 years ago in San Diego. It was truly so incredible crossing that finish line as I put my arms in the air with tears welled up in my eyes. I had finally gotten to the point in my life I had always dreamed of, where I could confidently let my bald head shine and love it and share the joy with the world. I was no longer ashamed and felt like I was finally me, the Lindsay God had made me to be. I have went on to run a total of 34 marathons thus far and can’t wait for all that is to come. If I hadn’t started running I don’t think I would be the person I am today.
Running has helped me to accept, love and embrace my Alopecia and baldhead, now my favorite thing about it!
I have set some BIG goals and dreams for myself and I truly believe the sky is the limit. I know I am capable of anything I set my mind to; hair or not. I still have moments when I feel sad about my Alopecia, but then I think of all of the great things I have, the endless opportunities, and incredible support from my friends and running community. I never thought I would be living my life wig free and loving it, but it has been my dream since I was a kid and I am so thankful I got to this point.
I will never forget the guy who told me, “I can’t date you because you don’t have hair”. This still hurts my heart when I think of it. My biggest fear has always been not being good enough for someone, or someone not liking me because I am bald. But, now I see it as a blessing, a filter for the best guy and the best people in my life. Alopecia has taught me to never settle and I never will in any aspect of my life.
Taylor Deer says
I loved reading this inspiring article of Lindsay. She is such a beautiful person both on the inside and out and I admire her bravery.
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