Click Here to Read Her Feature in The Record
They say that life is made out of chapters, and that you can’t know what’s coming next. Great analogy, yet if you know anything about life and writing a book, you know our lives are more like a trilogy of sorts. We never just have one conflict going on… it’s more like four!
So here’s the shortest version of my story and why I started this page.
As many of you know, I’m the girl behind the smile (and those long captions) on @afitandfabulousmichele. For many of you, I know it appears too simplistic, as I seem happy and motivated all the time. Truth be told, I’m not. I have good and bad days, just like anyone else. I’ve been said no to on several occasions and I’ve been rejected from more than you will ever know. And to be completely honest, my life didn’t go as I expected it to.
Chapter #1: Type 1 Diabetes
My brother was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes when I was five. Drastically all the foods were changed and weighed. I’m not sure still if it was this transition that did it, but ever since that time, I don’t recall ever having a normal relationship with food or fitness.
Sugar-free and fat-free were terms I believed were healthy.
That and a lot of working out… that’s how I fractured my foot that one time as I was doing gymnastics.
Just goes to show that the smallest of changes can catapult your life into a different path INSTANTANEOUSLY.
Chapter #2: Affairs & Divorce
This situation catapulted me into a struggle. A struggle that got worse with the additional stress of my parent’s divorce. From living with two parents that HATED each other to being literally and mentally split in half.
I spent half my senior year of high school being shuttled from one parent to another.
All while keeping up with my AP course workload.
I was stressed out, tired, and anxious. Leading me to my next abbreviated chapter…
Chapter #3: Anorexia
Inpatient once. Then kicked out due to health insurance. Sent to college for freshman year and boy was I not ready.
(Especially given the fact that the divorce papers were delivered the day of moving in.)
So as you can imagine, in a world where food was the main social activity, I really struggled throughout my freshman year.
Besides the stress of school and socializing, I had a lot going on with my family. And to be completely honest, I didn’t really know if I’d be ABLE to go back home…
The home in which I grew up in.
Chapter #4: Anorexia & Problems at Home
Thankfully I was able to go home after fall semester, but to my dismay, there was someone else living there.
And while it’s a long story which will be discussed at a later time. I’m going to make a VERY long, stressful, and helpless situation into two sentences…
For two years there were many days and nights that I went to sleep just worrying what would be. And ultimately, it ended up in handcuffs and a legal document restraining him from coming near me or my family.
Chapter #5: Instagram
Thought the battle was done right there, yet I still had one battle I hadn’t dealt with and that was my own.
So even though I graduated with a 4.0 GPA and received an award, I went from therapist to nutritionist trying to find my way.
But they didn’t help me, yet again.
I was told that I looked great by therapists even when I lost weight. And the hospitals in which I went to “played games.“
Meaning, as I started using IIFYM and strength training, and eating more, I was kicked out because I lost weight. (Even today, it’s ironic to me as they always used to say that an eating disorder wasn’t about food or weight… and yet they placed these guidelines on me.)
But to make a long story short, I did it myself. I turned to Instagram for support and for knowledge, and that’s the shortest version of why you see me on smiling on my page today.
Leading me to my next page in my book, chapter #6, the one called Not a Standard. This community is my passion project.
Leading me to my next page in my book, chapter #6, the one called Not a Standard. This community is my passion project.
Chapter #6: Not a Standard
My Passion: Why Start This?
In many situations in my life, including my life on Instagram, I felt guided to follow the guidelines or the standards of what everyone else was doing.
Magazines focused on low-fat diets didn’t help me in developing a good relationship with food.
Inpatient for anorexia didn’t help me and I was left struggling.
Being a niche on Instagram, didn’t make me feel good. I hated the fact that I needed to niche down and standardize myself according to what I post about.